gorilla escape

Gorilla Escapes Zoo, Rapes Neighborhood Cats – Innocent Black Man Arrested

National News, Strange News

CNNews –  An innocent black man was arrested today after an incident that ‘Black Lives Matter’ protesters are calling “another blatant act of racism by police.” Around 12:30 PM Thursday, Los Angeles 911 operators received a call from frantic neighbors claiming there was a “gorilla loose in their neighborhood raping random cats.” And they were correct, – at 12:17 PM workers at the Los Angeles Zoo reported that a 400 pound gorilla had escaped his habitat. Unfortunately, with all the confusion and chaos, the report had not yet reached the entire LAPD department.

That left an innocent black man, Reginald Dwight, the target of police harassment. According to eyewitnesses, Dwight was walking to his volunteer job at a senior center, when he was immediately surrounded by several police cars and officers demanding him to get on the ground and put his hands behind his head. Dwight complied and was taken into custody. Confused and upset Dwight demanded to know why he was being handcuffed and put in the back of a police car. “These police just ran up on me like I was some kind of criminal,” Dwight explained. “Then they tell me I meet the description of someone who was going around the neighborhood raping stray cats. What the hell kind of person does that. Especially a black person? That’s white people sh*t.”

Officers say while Dwight was taken into the station for processing, they were questioning neighbors trying to get the entire story of what happened. When all of a sudden, they spot a large gorilla running into the neighbor’s yard. “That’s when we realized we got the whole story wrong,” said Sgt. Ron Gillis. “I felt so bad for the guy. This had nothing to do with racism. We were only trying to protect the residents of this neighborhood by apprehending a suspect who met this description.”

‘Black Lives Matter’ protesters are furious. “Description? The 911 call described specifically a gorilla. And that’s not racist? These police know what they’re doing out here.” Dwight said he will be meeting with an attorney to discuss his options on a lawsuit against the department. “I’ve been humiliated and they owe me,” said Dwight. “I’m going to make sure they pay.”